Day 121

Breaking the ancestral line.

 

   HAPPY NEW YEAR!    
What we are doing in QS is extraordinary
Literally breaking not just our own ancestral line but a societal one as well.
We are doing things differently to the rest; choosing not to drink and enjoying the process.

Day 122

Why can’t I drink normally? And the gift is waiting.

 

 

Early on in our recovery we all ask this question, and it is a stage we all seem to go through before we break through to the other side.

‘Why can’t I drink ‘normally’

Time and time again I watch clients get frustrated with themselves for not being able to do this and especially at this time of year when everyone else seems to be having ‘fun’ with alcohol, drugs and food, we feel isolated and like the only one who can’t ‘just have one’.

How I see and describe the trying to be like everyone else when you’re not is living in ‘the grey area’; a place an addict gets stuck in with the belief that they can make themselves fit into a hole they never can. A place that is full of struggle, is difficult, and everlasting. It’s a place where you cannot ever experience freedom for there is always an element of having to TRY to moderate in social situations. There is continual effort and it is exhausting, and will always end in a binge and the subsequent regret, despair, remorse.

An addict CANNOT drink moderately and needs to learn (the hard way usually, the ‘hard bus’ as the chocolate shaman calls it) in their own time and come to a place of acceptance around this. The good news is that once here freedom is just around the corner; a place that can NEVER be found when in the grey area, for the grey area holds you in its grip and never allows you to get any further.

This is the very reason why I believe addicts are the lucky ones.
We have the chance of freedom.
We can step out of the grey area FOR GOOD and never have to deal with that dreadful place again.
This is freedom.
Once extracted you never even THINK about having a drink because why would you even want to put that poison in your body moderately???!!!!
Now you feel SORRY for those that are drinking moderately, for if they are not addicted and don’t have to do that then why on earth are they drinking a toxin for pleasure? You are either using it to numb out or give you something that us meditators can find naturally within ourselves; so who are the lucky ones? 

On QS we begin to see life and drinking in a new way; realising that we are being given an opportunity that not everyone has and begin to see our addiction AS A GIFT.
Here is part of a conversation that happened on the private QS forum yesterday:

Person 1: “Finally did the meditation from last night, on my gosh, so touching seeing the candles being lit, so powerful knowing all that has happened in the last 9 years has propelled me to here, and the shift from guilt to gratitude for all those painful experiences that have lead me on this path ….which just amazes me. I’m so so grateful I found this group of amazing people and I thank Jo and you all for being there in always perfect divine timing. Huge love and a belated happy magical new year”

Person 2: “this group is changing my life on a daily basis and I am so bloody grateful and feel so lucky and supported. Finally I can see a future which is bright. I always felt so alone in my battles with booze. So happy to hear you say this, and the meditations are magical, you think they are not doing anything and then small shifts start to happen and 3 months in to the program, I am feeling free! Happy New Year to you and happy to meet you. Great timing too – something very powerful and purposeful about a New Year – good luck and keep posting”

Person 1: “Thank you ***, I did feel so alone and shameful about it, I’d look round and see everyone else drinking “normally” and wonder what was wrong with me and tried to justify drinking the whole time but I knew in my heart that it was all an illusion and it diminished me. And yes, to see a bright future instead of what I always thought would be a painful struggle is a revelation! Love that you’re 3 months in and feeling free, again so inspirational! Thank you!”

Person 2: “I think finding this group and community is a miracle. And if you have blips or drinking episodes along the way it’s OK. Share them because you’ll get so much support and advice and can move on quickly. They sometimes need to happen. And that’s the difference, there is no shame or judging because we’ve all been there in some shape or form. Connecting and sharing is really powerful. I can’t believe how excited I was about last night’s meditation and staying in!!! So somethings working. Lots of love”

 

Day 123

You haven’t done anything wrong: The proof.

 

As our QS residential retreat came to a close yesterday I was telling the group a few stories about how some of the most difficult times I’ve experienced over the last couple of decades have actually developed into magic in my life. You see none of it was wrong, it all had to be that way, and here is some proof.
Bankruptcy 💰
Back in 2007 I bought a franchise and was promised the world. It was going to make me tons of money doing what I loved. Less than two years later and I was filing for bankruptcy following six months of hell.
I didn’t have money to eat properly and was drinking heavily.
I felt like a total failure.
It was one of the lowest times of my life, and you’d think that I would regret buying into that particular company and going through that experience, but I don’t because I met my husband directly through the business. His business partner back then was married to the woman that I did my franchise training with and this married couple set us up on a blind dat, and well the rest is history as they say!

The point being that if I had not gone through that business experience then I wouldn’t have met Dom.
We wouldn’t have then gone on to run Inner Guidance Retreat Centre.
And I probably wouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog.
Quantum Sobriety 🍷
And then of course there is my addiction. The tears, the pain, the struggle, the despair, the regret, the horrors, the times of puking down the toilet.
Again I do not regret my addiction one bit because it has taught me so much about myself and forced me to dig so deep to find the answers that I needed to find freedom. I could not run QS without it and support countless people on their journey too. And again I would not be sitting here writing this blog, sharing my insights had I not been through that torment.

It was all meant to be.
None of it wrong.
All part of my life plan.
A journey.

One of our retreatees said that she did indeed see how her addiction and mental health issues have taught her so much about herself. She could see that some terrible things that happened to her when she was growing up had developed into unhealthy and destructive behaviour that she was now ready to release. You should see the lightness in them all as they left yesterday; so beautiful; all so excited to restart their lives without the baggage that they left behind, a clean slate and full toolbox of techniques to use to main the higher frequency achieved through hours of meditation every day.

It’s not a disease.
You don’t have to be addicted forever.
You CAN change.
I give you permission to.
LET GO OF THE DRAMA.
You haven’t done anything wrong; just the best you could with the information that you had.
Believe in yourself and your dreams.
Set yourself free.
BELIEVE.

 

Day 124

Shaking the snow globe.

 

Don’t get stuck in the past for we have entered a new era now, one where it is all possible, WE CAN GO ANYWHERE, so don’t limit yourself only on where you have been for you are about to go somewhere you’ve not experienced before.
As we were driving home from a family event the other night I looked out of the window of the car and everything looked different. The road seemed wider, the windscreen more expansive and as I scanned the world around me EVERYTHING had been transformed. It was like I was seeing out of the eyes of someone else; getting an insight into a new world, a different planet even.

And I was shocked for I realised that it had happened, the event that I have been talking about for so long. We have all arrived in the new paradigm, no more talking about the future as it just materialised, WE ARE HERE.

I then got to thinking about how stuck we can get in our addiction. I remember that I became so associated with the Jo that was ‘trying to stop smoking’ that I couldn’t step into the Jo that ‘had stopped smoking’. And the same happened with booze, drugs and food; the TRYING and the STRUGGLE became who I was and I couldn’t see further than my own nose!

Now it’s time to see and live from our hearts rather than our eyes, for our eyes are giving us the manifestation of the past whereas living from the heart day to day is manifesting into the future. This is the big difference between the old and new eras and it is easy to pick up on where people are connected; whether or not they are living through their eyes or from their hearts.

For example I found out this week that this blog did not make it to the finals of the blogging awards. Of course I was very disappointed and initially I lived from my eyes, from what I was seeing; the manifestation of past beliefs; thoughts like,

“It’s not fair”
“An award would bring this blog into the mainstream and more people would see it”

However how much of this disappointment came from the HEAD, from LOGIC, from EGO?
And then I switched to the heart and the conversation went something like this,

“For whatever reason, and I’m sure it will become clear to me at some point, this is how it is meant to be and this blog is being lined up for something far greater which will get it to the people that resonate with it the most”

And I let it go.
The drama my ego was making in my mind.
How I used to think, behave, believe.

And when we apply this to our addiction our heart does not want to binge on toxins, our future does not want to be filled with it. The new paradigm is about flow, connection and heart so in effect you are saying NO to it if you continue to drink/drug/binge-eat.

The opposite of addiction is CONNECTION
Connection to the heart, to your truth
Do YOU feel the connection?

Imagine shaking a snow globe but in this quantum one the pieces that no longer fit the person you have become are discarded and only the bits that you want fall back into you; this is what is possible now and what daily meditation brings you to, and the gong wash below will speed up that process even more!

Live Gong Wash Meditation.

Yesterday’s locals meditation class was a gong wash; we do these every so often and our students love them. We decided last minute to livestream the whole meditation and here is the recording for you. It’s super powerful and the words above are inspired by what happened during this session yesterday. Enjoy!

 

Day 125

Your only job is to hold the frequency steady.

 

 

So can you begin to live FROM your heart?
Can you forego what you see with your eyes?
Can you fully comprehend that we are always given what is for our highest good when we are in alignment, so our job is simply to hold the vibration.

Is the noise of the head too noisy?
Are the layers that sit between head and heart too thick to be able to hear your true message?
Meditation takes us there instantly; it is the quickest path, and when we connect each morning this is when we have the opportunity to LIVE from here, and every word and action comes from here.

This is when we then HOLD the frequency that we found in our heart all day and take it into everything that we do; our relationships, family, job, interaction with the supermarket worker, brushing our teeth, writing emails, everything.

This is why a morning practice is so important as it taps into something first thing that you can then carry with you throughout the day. What if it really is that simple (it is) and that your ONLY job is to hold the high frequency steady and the rest is taken care FOR you?

So for today your job is to do just that.
Meditate now.
And then USE the practice all day and live from it.
Don’t use your eyes as proof of what is possible, use your heart.
And please report back because I really would like to know if you had a different day because of it…..

 

Day 126

I’ve given myself the most awful hangover I’ve had in ages.

 

 

Sometimes we have to go back don’t we, to learn the lesson fully, to go so deep that we are forced to do something about it. I don’t know about you but this is a pattern I’ve been playing out my whole life, and it happened again this week.

Wednesday night I had the first takeaway for six months and boy did I pay for it yesterday. And along with the physical pain of eating junk food that my body really didn’t appreciate, was a deep understanding and acknowledgement of what happened.

The whole thing was like an out-of-body experience.

I witnessed myself CRAVING chips. This is a pattern I’ve had the whole of my life; when others were coming out of clubs and having kebabs I always wanted chips. I love all chips; fat ones, skinny ones, crinkly ones, skin on, skin off, I don’t mind! So this was an old story that came up for another level of healing,

“Please can we get fish and chips”

I begged poor Dom who really didn’t want it at all and in the end he relented.

When it arrived I scoffed it quicker than any other food that I eat, and if you know me you will know what I am talking about: I AM A SLOW EATER and always the last to finish any meal. But with chips I scoff; it’s not like any other food.

THIS IS ADDICTION

As soon as I finished the plate (it was so much more food than I would normally eat) I felt sick and glutinous. It was so obvious that what I had just done was compulsive and greedy and I immediately regretted it.

EXACTLY THE SAME BEHAVIOUR AS WHEN I WAS DRINKING/DRUGGING

The remorse
The guilt
The physical sickness

It was disgusting, which is what I felt.
My stomach felt like it was going to burst as it was filled with cheap fat, white potatoes, fish and batter; all things that are usually never in my diet.

I had absolutely lost my high vibe.
In the space of 15 minutes it was gone completely.
However because it was late we went to bed and luckily I fell asleep quickly.

I awoke to the most awful hangover I’ve had in ages.
For the first time in as long as I can remember I really struggled to pull myself from sleep, and then out of bed. As I sat down to write my mind felt blurred and unfocused, not able to let go of the weird dream I had been in. Words didn’t want to form and I felt unplugged to source.

With my spiced rooibos I decided to have some cacao; it helped raise my vibe and I felt myself begin to open and my connection reestablish. Words appeared on the page and normal flow was restored, then I sat down to meditate, worried that it would be a difficult session but pushed that negative thought out of my mind and made the decision to set the intention for a groundbreaking meditation, for as we know what we believe we become.

It was epic.
And gave me the idea to make a recording of it to share.
I turned the day around totally in an instant, because I decided it was to be so.
Anything is possible and your experience in life will be in alignment with what you believe.

I then spent the day doing ONLY high vibrational activities; meeting family, writing, connection with my tribe and eating and drinking ONLY fruit and vegetables.

And I began to wonder if I was going to be able to ever eat my beloved fish and chips again?
Was what I had experienced worth it?
For the process was so similar to how I was with drugs and booze:

1. Craving
2. Binging
3. Regretting

I don’t like this behaviour in my life, it makes me feel like crap and I only want activities that lift me up. I’ll never say never but I know that something has shifted in me and the shock of my chip behaviour has made me look at food as my next challenge; I’ll be journalling around this subject to get some answers.

In QS we have many members who are with us for food issues, it’s as serious as any other addiction and sometimes even harder to overcome because you cannot cease eating like you can with drugs and alcohol; you have to learn control and moderation.

So I thank that plate of chips for giving me my next life lesson.
None of it is wrong and I have been given my next challenge.
The next layer
Next step
A deeper learning is being called for.
And I say YES to the challenge, I want to keep my vibe up for it’s a much easier world when you feel AWAKE and I already know that my path is all about becoming the best person I possibly can be, and then share my experiences; a little like a human guinea pig 🐭
And TODAY I celebrate teaching yoga for 16 years!
I cannot believe where the time has gone, and all the amazing people I have met in classes and taught over the years. 
I dug out some testimonials from 16 years ago when I was teaching in Koh Samui, Thailand and a picture too!

“If you ever return to the UK i’ll be the first in line to join ou on another spiritual journey through yoga. Much love and respect” Antonia, UK

“The session at your place in Bo Phut was the most powerful practise i’ve ever experienced!” Sal, AUS

“Jo is calm, shines and radiates light, inspirational and funny too” Thomas, USA

 

 

 

Member Quote’s Of The Week.

In this section you will read something that has been said by one of the Quantum Sobriety Online Programme members over on the very lively private forum: